Forgiveness is hard and forgiveness doesn’t come naturally to most and being dragged down with shame doesn’t help. It’s an extra burden when we feel like something is wrong with us because it difficult for us to forgive or even consider forgiving.

But alas there is scientific research according to Dr. Frederic Luskin, PhD of Stanford University that backs up forgiveness being tied to our well being and how we can get better at it with practice. So, you don’t have to forgive to be a good person. You can forgive because it’s good for you.

Do you constantly think:

-People don’t really care me

-There must be something wrong with me

-Life is so hard

Give yourself permission to be comfortable expressing and celebrating your own culture on your terms.

My Taiwanese mother told me to speak Mandarin in a hushed voice as “Americans” hated the sound of Asian languages on their ears.  My Chinese father further asserted that English was the only language he wanted to hear my siblings and me speak.    

As the person sharing your story, being believed is powerful in contrast to having to convince someone of our experience.

If you feel the need to explain beginning to surface, versus the desire to express, it might be time to exit the conversation for now.

I’ve noticed her chatting up my husband, who happens to be white, a few times but surely she just hasn’t heard or seen me the various times when I’ve said hello right?

I don’t think you are the only one who still feels unsettled. The possibility of Trump becoming the President of our country again is unsettling.

They were sympathetic to the horrible hate crimes against Asians elsewhere but perplexed by how this impacted me.